Never Good Enough

How many times have you done something and it didn’t fit approval? You put your all into it but the results seem like it just wasn’t good enough. When you feel like the praise awarded was not due. Your best just wasn’t good enough. Or was it?

Hi, my name is Celeste, and I’m my worst critique. At least my inner perfectionista is. I don’t like her very much at times. Can you see why?

Like me I’m sure there are many people out there who berate themselves for not being good enough from time to time. *side eyes* Ok, so this is the part where you agree by a show of hands… Surely I’m not alone here. Anyone?

Those times you have a brilliant idea to contribute to the office but don’t raise your hand because you feel that everyone will think you silly. The time you really want to contribute to a charity but feel a R10 won’t be enough. How about baking your favourite recipe cupcakes for your kids bake sale at school but don’t because your mix comes from a box. Or how about those people who don’t have any relationships with their inlaws because 1) you haven’t been fully accepted by them or 2) you don’t feel you fit in. To all the moms out there, I won’t even mention the grief we put ourselves through. That’s a story for another day.

The Never Good Enough List is neverending sometimes. But who says you’re not goo enough? You or other people? Whose approval is it that matters the most?

Ever stop to wonder where these inferior thoughts and feelings about ourselves come from? For some it may have been their upbringing and being shot down as a kid. Others it’s often our inner opinionistas opinions towards others that makes us feel that we’ll be treated the same. Aha! Hit a sore spot there? Just stop it already. For me it’s fear. The fear of not living up to my own expectations of myself. As a creative I tend to do that more often than not. I told you I’m my worst critique. Any creatives out there who can relate?

To me contributing what I have is more than whatever person in need of charity has. Even if it’s just my time, because truth is sometimes I don’t have a R10 to spare, I know that it will be welcome. My time in my opinion is far more valuable to me than money, so I give lavishly.

I cheat and bake from boxes too but the trick is in the decoration. The cake below was baked from an old family recipe which I’ll share if my mom ever decides to rewrite it for me. It’s an old recipe she’s altered and it’s the bestest vanilla spongecake ever. But let’s focus on my amateur sculpting and icing skills for now. And maybe my amateur photographic skills.

As for inlaws, hmmm… That can be a bit tricky but here is how I handled it (am still handling it). My inlaws are Keith’s and our kids relatives so I don’t have to like or tolerate them for my sake. My choice to love them has no relevance on family ties, in fact it’s based on 2 things and 2 things only. 1) I’m called to love my neighbour as I love myself. 2) I love the individuals for themselves and not for extra credit I may receive from the rest of the family. 3) Besides them being family, I place value on mutual respect for one another. Something many families tend to lose focus of. 4) I don’t want any relationships based on tolerance. 5) It really was supposed to be 2 wasn’t it? But those who know me knows I tend to let it rip where lists are concerned. 🙂

Here’s to all of us who think that we’re not good enough at times.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself. Really. I tell myself that all the time.

    You won’t know how great you are or can be if you don’t try.

    Practice, practice, practice. There is always room for improvement. But do it for you.

    Greatness is not built in a day. Neither was Rome, or a democratic South Africa. Don’t argue the latter. It is what it is.

    Failure in itself is successful because at least you’re trying.

    Never give up.

    BE AWESOME and BE YOU!

    Know your worth.

By the way did you know that Pres Obama has his own personal Twitter account @POTUS? Just thought I’d throw it out there.

9 thoughts on “Never Good Enough

  1. I saw myself in you r post. I am so hard on myself and t can be exhausting sometimes. I have however learned to take baby steps. When I find my mind wondering into ‘critique-ville’ I say STOP out loud

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  2. I love this post- I am my own worst critique, a perfectionist and exceptionally hard on myself. Whilst I give others a break I simply won’t give myself that same courtesy. So you are simply not alone.

    And I love that cake- it is absolutely perfect!

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  3. this is true !
    I have always been a do nothing half-assed kinda gal and sometimes I feel exhausted because I drive myself insane trying to make everything perfect…

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