Hey guys (by guys I mean ladies, gentlemen and just errrbody).

For the past few weeks I’ve thinking about Women’s month and what it means to me. Besides the fact that Woman’s Day was a mid-week fake Saturday. Yay! Not so great when we had to go back to work and have a Monday do-over the Wednesday, but hey fun was had.

Once a month I dread being a woman. Thrice in my lifetime I’ve really dreaded being a woman. Birthing three babies was no walk in the park. Neither were the PJ drills. Thankfully we’re past that and will never experience it again.

BUT… I didn’t decide to come out of hiatus to talk about the not so glorious moments in my life.

Since this month started, I’ve been thinking more and more about my kids. I’m raising two beautiful young ladies and a young lad whom I think will make some lucky lady a wonderful husband one day. On our journey we are making some fantastic memories. Sharing laughs, ideas, dancing and making stuffs and, and, and…

I’ve come to realise that being a woman is about harnessing power. The power to create, build, groom, empower, grow and be flexible. Gosh there are so many words I could use to describe womanhood and the qualities of strong women. The possibilities are endless. Being a woman is not necessarily about being a mother. You don’t have to have kids to help build a better tomorrow. Knowing they are our future and showing them the way through love and compassion goes a long way.

During my thinking spree, I noticed that “Me time” has become a thing of the past. Not that I’m skimming on that. On the contrary. I’ve become much more intentional about being a woman. Being a “woman-first” means taking care of me in order to take care of everyone else. Me time is no longer a quick sesh here or there but more of an intentional time allocated to my daily schedule to do what I want without mom guilt. Off course it doesn’t always pan out that way. Then again show me a schedule without a glitch. Somehow being a wife and mom forms part of that ‘allocated’ slot.

My Instagram bio reads: “Woman first…” Because if I can’t be what God created me to be then I think I’ll be useless to my person, kids and anyone else I may cross paths with in my life.

My kids are my life and I want to be the type of woman my girls aspire to be. Have the qualities my son will seek for in a wife one day. Ok maybe not too much of my qualities. Wait! He’s only fifteen. Why am I giving that much thought to his future wife? Maybe because I over think things. I’m a woman after all. Typical.

Most of all, when I think about being a woman I am reminded of Proverbs 31.



Happy Woman’s Month 😚😚😚

What do you think being a woman is all about?

Thank you for reading 🙂



What being an aunt has taught me about Motherhood

Up until almost five months ago, K3 were my parents only grandchildren until my sister made me the proudest aunt of twin boys. I was so excited to meet them that I tagged along to hospital just after 5am that morning to ‘fetch’ them. You guys I have to remind myself that they’re not my kids. Although I’ve been an aunt for much longer than this (to my niece by marriage), the experience is all new to me. It’s also made me realize a few things about my own take on parenting and the somewhat shocking realization that I wasn’t a very good ‘baby’ mommy. A phase of my life that I’m so happy is over that I won’t waste any guilt on it because, well, it is what it is.

There never was time for me to enjoy my kids as babies because I couldn’t quite deal with the crying, doing everything I thought was expected of me, realizing the enormous responsibility, being overwhelmed at the thought of the honour bestowed upon me to be someone’s mother and figuring out who the new me was. Having to cater to a little persons every whim (or is it wail) because they can’t tell you what they want or need wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had. All the dirty diapers! Patience never was my best quality trait. Not to mention always being a fine mess and not being able to wear white pants.

Ok maybe I can’t credit my kids for me not being able to wear white pants. I still can’t wear one for a whole day without making a mess of it myself. And then there was the matter of trying to be the perfect mother and faking it as best I could when everything went haywire, you know… For appearances. All in all, I spent too much time focusing on (and getting lost in) doing everything right (by the book) and the “How to’s”, “What to do and What not to do’s” instead of cuddling my babies, looking into their eyes at feeding times as much as possible and just spending time with them. If I thought that having my first kid was tough, I had another thing coming when I became mom of two. Things became that much more challenging.

Truthfully it wasn’t all that bad. I’ve always had a great support system but if I could go back and change a few things… Who am I kidding? I won’t bore you with the details because I time travel is impossible. That and I quite like how my kids have turned out and are continuing to grow. What I will say is that, by the time baby number three came along I was pretty laid back. K3 and I survived babyhood, the toddler phase and we’re in a few different stages of childhood all at once (preschool, preteen and teen! Eek!) and doing “us” instead of conforming to my interpretation of childhood manuals and (what I now realize as) questionable advice that I once relied upon.

Since my nephews arrival I’ve learnt that:

    After fourteen years of opportunities to practice patience, it’s not just something that comes naturally. It’s like a fine wine that needs to mature. I now know that it’s easy to settle down a crying baby if you just focus on that and not a million other things you still want to do. Everything is easier if you just take a load off and remember to breath.

    They really do just need to be fed, changed or sleep. No one lied about that one.

    It’s not a waste of time nor is it a form of spoiling when you hold your baby ‘just because’.

    Feeding time is the best time to bond with your little one. Don’t underestimate the connection you share when you’re looking into their eyes.

    Your having to cater to their every whim prepares you to stop and drop whatever you’re busy with for LIFE. As they get older they actually need more attention.

    The perfect mother is not a mother but in fact a grandmother. They’ve got much more years of experience on you.

    Motherhood is not a contest. Sure there are some women who still believe that, but those are the ones who give themselves a hard time at their own cost. They’ll come around sooner or later. Let’s hope for sooner

    You can’t compare one child to another so don’t ever do that. I look at my nephews and see that they develop in different ways. While they’re both on track they don’t do the same things viz. One is almost holding his own bottle whereas the other couldn’t be bothered by raising his hands all that much but he is the ‘talkative’ one. So no score cards please.

    No one really expects you to look on point unless you’re Kate Middleton. I’m not saying total neglect is in order but a fine mess is ok from time to time.

    Sleeping when your baby sleeps is recommended. Tired moms are cranky moms. Cranky moms make for miserable wives and partners and also leads to added stress.

Hindsight is 20/20. Keith and I are pretty much done with our little family so all that’s left for me to do is encourage other moms and moms-to-be.

Cherish every moment you have with your little ones. They really do grow up too fast.

Tribute to my sister

Mommy tattoos

Mommy tattoos

It’s official. You’re a mom now! No more counting down months, weeks, days and sleepies. Your precious angels are “Real Life” angels now, and more perfect than you could’ve ever imagined. My kids will no longer be the cutest kids to you anymore because you’ll have the most precious ones in the world even if they’re ugly (which they won’t because we have good genes but just in case *tongue in cheek*). Trust me, after our discussion about ugly kids this morning, you’ll discover it’s a mom thing. *wink wink*

Just like that you’ve been initiated into the motherhood gang and we are a fierce bunch. We take no prisoners and we love hard. You’re a tiger who has earned her stripes! No amount of pregnancy and parenting books can prepare you for what’s to come because it’s an experience and only life can teach us the important lessons.

A few wise words from your sis, besides the “Enjoy your babies” that you’ve been getting from EVERYONE. In no specific order:

Motherhood is one of the best experiences ever, but it can make you lose your marbles at times.

The most ‘put-together’ mom sucks at many things, so don’t even try to aspire to what you think a mom should be like. I’m sure even Kate Middleton sucks as a mother sometimes and when she’s all dressed and looking pretty, it’s for publicity. I don’t for one minute think she’s got it down to pat. Unless you wanna be like me. I’m a kinda cool mom don’t you think?

Trading them in for newer models will sometimes be tempting… Unfortunately that’s not allowed in SA yet at this stage. But since you’re a lady of the law, check out those bills, I may have missed it and could do with some trade ins 🙂

Sometimes you’ll want to through in the towel… Don’t! It’s twins which means THAT much more washing!

Sometimes you’ll want to cry especially when babies are crying and you’ve tried all you think you can and they won’t stop… Go on and cry with them. Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. But cry… It helps.

Hear people out when they give you advice, but it’s your choice to refuse to follow certain ones (or most of it actually). It’s your kids and it’s your life.

Enjoy them… And this is my meaning of that phrase… Life is about moments. You’ve shared so many moments in your nephew and nieces lives and that’s what enjoyment is about. It makes life so special for both parents and kids.

I’ve got so much more to say but I’ll tell you in real life coz I mean really now… You JUST gave birth and I NEED to meet my nephews!!!!