Tandem Post: “Because I gave you my word”

Hope this verse encourages you as much as it does me 🙂

This was part our weekly Tandem Blog. Go see what Shelley and Chevone are up to.

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Tandem Post: Ninja

To become a true Ninja takes hard work and dedication. You live by a moral code and discipline.

You think it’s about “Wax on and wax off”? You don’t just get to fly through the air and drop down ceilings and get to shout “Hi-Yah!” It’s not about wearing black all the time or being invisible either. You have to be skilled to become a true warrior. Training, training and more training. In the good times and the bad times.

Train until:

    You know what it’s like to smile though your heart is crying.

    Your knees can’t hold it no more.

    There are no words left to say.

    You truly believe that there is a way when there seems to be no way.

    You’ve dedicated all you can to the Lord.

    You’ve reached the end of your tether but you have faith like a mustard seed.

    You hear that voice that says “Be still and know that I am God”.

Be a ninja and warrior in prayer because no matter your circumstances, His word declares that “He will never leave you nor forsake you”. When you’re down and out you can be sure that He is there and will meet your needs. We may not always enjoy the hand life deals us but when it happens and you’re tempted to ask “why”, sit and think what God wants us to learn.

Black outfits are obviously entirely optional.

This was part of a Tandem series, that would have ended last week but we’ve been so challenged the past few weeks that we’ve decided to continue.”

You can find my partners in crime on their own sites below:

Chevslife – Ninja

The_Deal_Is – Ninja

ONLY a Housewife

A few days ago I met with a stranger. I call him that because even though we’re acquainted, and he seems to know ALL about me, he really doesn’t know anything beyond what he chooses to see. Which happens to be a housewife. Yes the type of woman with no ambition in life beyond waking up and seeing to the house, kids, cooking and cleaning. The uneducated woman who could not possibly have an intellectual thing to say or who obviously doesn’t get out much because you know, who’s going to see that the pots are all shiny or “Will my trackpants be ok to wear to a fancy restaurant?”

Then, stranger gives me a word of advice that I’ve grown seriously tired of hearing especially from people who don’t know me. “You’re still young, you really should further your education.” I hold my breath for a brief moment, mainly so the ninjas don’t come flying out my mouth and karate chop his presumptuousness. *Note to self* I have to keep these ninjas locked away in a cage. “Lord please help me so I won’t lose my cool.” I pray before I respond. At first I smile and try to listen and follow the conversation but I can’t. He lost me at my supposed lack of education. You know, because I’m just a housewife. We can’t concentrate either, I find. “Well actually I am studying towards an English Language and Literature Diploma.” I say but the conversation ends. Either because of interruption or the undercurrent rippling in the air. I’m not quite sure, but it’s stifling I tell ya.

He doesn’t know what I did for a living before becoming a housewife. What qualifications I have. My mad skills (yes I have some of those in my bag of tricks). Why exactly I am a housewife now. How I prefer my coffee. He doesn’t know how I’ve been struggling to find a decent paying job or the countless interviews I’ve been to. Of which NOT ONE of the companies found it important enough to advise me that I was unsuccessful. There are just so many things he and so many others don’t know because all they choose to see is a housewife who drops her kids at school everyday and dutifully collects them. They don’t see the misery behind it all. The times I ugly cried because the situation has made me feel hopeless and worthless.

What they do see is the woman who takes pride in her appearance and smiles when all she feels like is curling in a ball and shutting the world out. The latter they’ll never suspect. They see a positive and upbeat woman. A woman who is satisfied with being a homemaker and, in their opinion, wasting her life. A woman who has time to waste everyday and for all they know spends it on her phone texting and lazing around because she has nothing better to do after the cleaning has been done and the food cooked.

What they would know if they were actually interested in knowing the woman, they’d find that in spite of herself and her circumstances chooses to have faith and believe in things not yet seen. She gets up every morning with a grateful heart because she’s been given the gift of life for another day. In moments of darkness she takes a deep breath and carries on. She sees the glass half full and not just for the heck of it. She’ll tell you that it’s half full because in any situation or aspect of our lives there’s always room for improvement. She started her own business and works hard at establishing her business at making a name for herself. Unless you ask, she won’t volunteer any of the information to you. She’s long past the point of seeking validation from people. She knows who she is and what she brings to the table. I’m proud to say that I know her and I know her well.

What she really wants the world to know is that being a housewife is not for the faint hearted. Finances and affordability aside, it’s not up every womans alley to become a housewife. She still doesn’t feel comfortable with the role and regularly takes her hat off to those women who conquers it every day. Life is not about housewives vs working moms (or any professionals) and seeing who can do things better. We’re all women as well as individuals and each one has something unique to offer. Some circumstances are beyond our control and it forces some to be home and wait it out. Waiting and searching for opportunities. Some days are easy while others make you want to climb the walls.

All in all, housewives are people too. They have their own ambitions. Whether or not they choose to embrace it and enjoy that lifestyle don’t assume you know better or live better because their life doesn’t match your idea of how life should be lived. You don’t have to know someone or fully understand something to respect it. There is always a story and right now this is mine.

What is your story?

How is a tragic death OK if a child was naughty?

Today when I picked Little K up from school, one of the other moms asked if I’d heard about the first grader who attended the girls school that passed on last Thursday. My mother heart nearly collapsed because the mere thought of losing one or all of my kids at any given time is too much to bear. This child was a mere few months older than Little K and here the one moment, gone the next. Those poor poor parents and family mourning right now. I can’t even imagine what must be going through their minds right now or how they must be feeling.

I don’t have all the details but according to their neighbour, a sliding gate fell on him and he died instantly. What I do know for sure is that I can honestly thank God that I wasn’t there when said neighbour relayed the story. Apparently it was a heavy gate and it took about 7 grown men to lift it off the boys body. He went into detail about the scene and what the little one looked like. That was one of the reasons I’m glad I didn’t hear it from his mouth because I’m of the fainted hearted and also a writer who paints pictures with words so you can imagine how the scene would have played out in my mind. But it was not those details that made me thankful for not hearing him speak.

It was the statement he made that appalled me. Little K’s teacher stood with her mouth gaping because she could not believe that a grown man and a father at that would actually utter such nonsense. His statement was along these lines “But he was a naughty boy…”. Friends as I’m typing this the rage is bubbling again and the tears are threatening to spill. I was absolutely livid this afternoon.

Not too long ago I was one of those people who’d proudly say “I’m responsible for what I say and you’re responsible for the way in which you interpret it.” Obviously it depended on the context of a conversation but I kinda meant it on many if not all levels. That said, I’ve always known how important it is to guard my tongue. You can always think what you want but you can’t always say what you want and there are some things that cannot be left open for interpretation.

I’m angry, because in my mind the mere fact that he uttered those words means that he’s an opinionated, ignorant and heartless beast who should be slapped. A. Lot. And his lips should be sealed with super glue. How is it OK for anyone to utter a statement like that when a young child lost his life? It’s cruel! I don’t care if he was naughty or nice and what the circumstances were. He’s gone. A mother lost a child. Siblings lost their brother. It could have been his child and I’m sure that he would not have taken kindly to someone saying that about his kid regardless if the kid is some angel or brat. Honestly, I don’t care if that neighbour didn’t mean to say those exact words or if he meant something different to the way in which we interpreted it.

You guys, this made me think about how we are quick to say things without even thinking at times. How we can break each other down by a simple word. Or not choosing our words carefully and leaving it open to interpretation. Even if the people we’re talking about, or to, is alive and kicking. Words have the power to hurt and cause serious damage.

Eulogies often have me amused. Either the words spoken is accurate and the honor is due or I sit there thinking “Liar, liar pants on fire. He/she was nothing like that”. I’ve never heard a ‘bad’ eulogy at any funeral whether the person was good or bad.

We also received news of the passing of one of the hubsters acquaintances today and his first words when I told him about it was “No man, I just saw him a few days ago.” Right now my heart is bleeding for that mans wife and kids too.

As those families are grieving, I have no words of comfort to offer them. I’m sure they have many questions right now but I know that God is with them. Only time will soothe their pain and suffering. Although I haven’t experienced that kind of loss yet, it is my understanding that you never get over the passing of a loved one but you learn to deal with it as time goes by. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” I’ll cling to that promise found in Matt 5:4.

I do have words for everyone reading this, myself too as I’m typing this:

Live each day like it’s your last; If you’ve been granted grace in the morning to rise then there’s nothing stopping you from shining.

Think before you/I speak; I’m a think on my feet type of person that often leads it to spilling from my mouth. So my prayer is for God to put a tight reign on my tongue. Whole day, everyday.

Treasure the time you have with your loved ones, friends and just everyone. You don’t know when it’s the last time you’ll see them.

Be slow to judge. When fatal accidents happen we/I tend to analyze the whole thing and draw our own conclusions and then the “If only’s” start. It’s during those moments we look to cast the blame on someone else and worse forget that it really doesn’t matter the circumstances, death is unavoidable. We will all pass soon. The question is are you ready?

Tandem post: Page 51

This week’s tandem challenge was to go to Page 51 of a random book, and start our piece with the last line or sentence of the page. The book in question is PLAYBOYSKOOL, How to Pull and get Laid, by Nick Star. Never read the book but, thank you Nick Star, what a challenge! Last sentence on the page is “Let’s roll…”

“Let’s roll…” Are the only words I hear before my ears shut and my eyes reads your lips. “Blah, blah, blah, blah… Bleh!” Is all I read. Like really now, I could type a manuscript using the word ‘Blah’ and still be able to capture more of an audience. I’m sure they’ll get me too.

Yes Judgy McJudgerson! I’m not listening to you and I really don’t care to know how you check the amount of calories, GL/I’s and who knows what on food packaging. Not everyone does it and is so consumed with wanting to be perfect. Sweets is where I draw the line unless you’re diabetic or have a peanut allergy. It doesn’t interest me how often you go to gym and what protein shakes your doctor has ordered you to drink.

You know what I don’t care for either? How you look at people and assume that you’re more righteous than the rest of us. That your heart is purer than ours. You go and serve at soup kitchens and do things for people to see. How you look at others who you think is beneath you. That just riles me up. Have you forgotten where you come from? I haven’t and I could interrupt you now and remind you. No. Wait. This train of thought has to make it all the way to Rant Town before I’ll do such a thing. Your judgement comes freely and you don’t hide it.

Do you know the heart of the drunk smelly guy who walks down the road everyday? No? Well it really doesn’t surprise me because you probably didn’t see him either. He has a name too you know. He actually is the funniest person and has a story, a very interesting one at that. We all do. He has kids and grankids too. But you don’t know that. You’re self made pedestal is too high. How do you up there every morning anyways?

Did you know that when we die our graves are the same size? Unless you wanna upsize (like at Mac D’s) for your whole family. So why do you think you’re better than us? Didn’t you ever hear the saying “Mens is nooit te sleg om goed te raak nie”? What about showing people love? Is your light and love just reserved for those in your circle whom you think are walking with you in your faith. Have you ever wondered about their hearts or is the rest of ours just too disturbing and interesting for you to bother? Do you ever sit down to think that maybe, just maybe you’re the reason why so many fail to see the light or choose not to in fear of becoming just like you?

Do you know that woman with the temper has been hurt so many times in her life and she is on constant alert and defense? She has no confidence and doesn’t know love. Nevermind unconditional love. She yearns to be loved and appreciated by people. Her heart aches because she often feels like she doesn’t belong. Wait, what? You didn’t notice? Can it be because you’re too busy making the world notice how good of a samaritan you are. Can it be that she scared you off too? Did she do it while you looked her in the eye, smiled and greeted her or when you drove past with a pout and refusing to even glance her way?

I notice you’ve stopped talking and looking at me expectantly… Yikes I’ve been caught! I’m supposed to say something right about now.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that. Would you mind repeating what you just said so I can know exactly what and how you want to roll” I say but I don’t tell you of where I’ve just rolled to because surely you won’t get it.

Thank goodness we’re folding samoosas but if you prefer saying “roll”, I’m good with that too.

Friends it’s well after the stipulated time and I’ve been doing the Should I, Shouldn’t I since this morning. This is a bit personal and at the risk of making seem like I’m casting stones here, I felt the need to just “Should I”. Please note that it’s not directed at anyone in specific and I’ve never folded samoosas with anyone besides my gran. This is not about gran! There are many believers in this world who turn their backs on each other and on the needy. This is not the way it’s supposed to be. If you’ve taken that leap of faith, you need to constantly look at the man/woman in the mirror and remember that we are supposed to set examples.

Now go see how amazing my Tandem team is:
ChevsLife
The_Deal_Is