Tandem Post: Just. One. More. Time.

image

“Just. One. More. Time.” He thought as he pierced his skin with the needle. The last fix and then he’ll be done with it forever.

He was right. As he transcended into oblivion his body shut down.

“Just. One. More. Time.” She said to her now ex boyfriend. It was called goodbye sex. Not once considering that it would be the beginning of a new life. The life they would share between them that would bind them forever.

“Just. One. More. Time.” She said as she anxiously awaited her abusive husband. If he so much as touched her one more time she would leave… Later that night she did leave. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

“Just. One. More. Time.” He said as pushed himself to do another round. Surely it wouldn’t do him harm. His doctor was just over cautious. Fitness was his life. Then cardiac arrest was his death.

How many times do we quit a bad habit or break off a toxic relationship but think “Just. One. More. Time.”? How many times do we think we know better? Are we just kidding ourselves or are the odds just against us?

Thank you for reading this weeks installment of my tandem series. To see what my “bloggers in crime” are up to, click their linkies below.

Chevone from Chevs Life

Shelley from The Deal Is

Advertisements

How is a tragic death OK if a child was naughty?

Today when I picked Little K up from school, one of the other moms asked if I’d heard about the first grader who attended the girls school that passed on last Thursday. My mother heart nearly collapsed because the mere thought of losing one or all of my kids at any given time is too much to bear. This child was a mere few months older than Little K and here the one moment, gone the next. Those poor poor parents and family mourning right now. I can’t even imagine what must be going through their minds right now or how they must be feeling.

I don’t have all the details but according to their neighbour, a sliding gate fell on him and he died instantly. What I do know for sure is that I can honestly thank God that I wasn’t there when said neighbour relayed the story. Apparently it was a heavy gate and it took about 7 grown men to lift it off the boys body. He went into detail about the scene and what the little one looked like. That was one of the reasons I’m glad I didn’t hear it from his mouth because I’m of the fainted hearted and also a writer who paints pictures with words so you can imagine how the scene would have played out in my mind. But it was not those details that made me thankful for not hearing him speak.

It was the statement he made that appalled me. Little K’s teacher stood with her mouth gaping because she could not believe that a grown man and a father at that would actually utter such nonsense. His statement was along these lines “But he was a naughty boy…”. Friends as I’m typing this the rage is bubbling again and the tears are threatening to spill. I was absolutely livid this afternoon.

Not too long ago I was one of those people who’d proudly say “I’m responsible for what I say and you’re responsible for the way in which you interpret it.” Obviously it depended on the context of a conversation but I kinda meant it on many if not all levels. That said, I’ve always known how important it is to guard my tongue. You can always think what you want but you can’t always say what you want and there are some things that cannot be left open for interpretation.

I’m angry, because in my mind the mere fact that he uttered those words means that he’s an opinionated, ignorant and heartless beast who should be slapped. A. Lot. And his lips should be sealed with super glue. How is it OK for anyone to utter a statement like that when a young child lost his life? It’s cruel! I don’t care if he was naughty or nice and what the circumstances were. He’s gone. A mother lost a child. Siblings lost their brother. It could have been his child and I’m sure that he would not have taken kindly to someone saying that about his kid regardless if the kid is some angel or brat. Honestly, I don’t care if that neighbour didn’t mean to say those exact words or if he meant something different to the way in which we interpreted it.

You guys, this made me think about how we are quick to say things without even thinking at times. How we can break each other down by a simple word. Or not choosing our words carefully and leaving it open to interpretation. Even if the people we’re talking about, or to, is alive and kicking. Words have the power to hurt and cause serious damage.

Eulogies often have me amused. Either the words spoken is accurate and the honor is due or I sit there thinking “Liar, liar pants on fire. He/she was nothing like that”. I’ve never heard a ‘bad’ eulogy at any funeral whether the person was good or bad.

We also received news of the passing of one of the hubsters acquaintances today and his first words when I told him about it was “No man, I just saw him a few days ago.” Right now my heart is bleeding for that mans wife and kids too.

As those families are grieving, I have no words of comfort to offer them. I’m sure they have many questions right now but I know that God is with them. Only time will soothe their pain and suffering. Although I haven’t experienced that kind of loss yet, it is my understanding that you never get over the passing of a loved one but you learn to deal with it as time goes by. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” I’ll cling to that promise found in Matt 5:4.

I do have words for everyone reading this, myself too as I’m typing this:

Live each day like it’s your last; If you’ve been granted grace in the morning to rise then there’s nothing stopping you from shining.

Think before you/I speak; I’m a think on my feet type of person that often leads it to spilling from my mouth. So my prayer is for God to put a tight reign on my tongue. Whole day, everyday.

Treasure the time you have with your loved ones, friends and just everyone. You don’t know when it’s the last time you’ll see them.

Be slow to judge. When fatal accidents happen we/I tend to analyze the whole thing and draw our own conclusions and then the “If only’s” start. It’s during those moments we look to cast the blame on someone else and worse forget that it really doesn’t matter the circumstances, death is unavoidable. We will all pass soon. The question is are you ready?

STOP turning a blind eye to your kids faults and crime happening in your community!!!

I was thinking of fancy words and nice quips to start my blog today. I even wanted to add a bit of humour because quite frankly we could all do with a bit more laughing in our lives. Fact is I’m so disgruntled and can’t find the right words. Lacing the truth can only be done so many times. And there is no humour that can soften the blow. As a writer I find myself at a loss for words today but my autopilot is still in good form and she has got a few things to tell parents and the whole community.

While collecting my daughters from school today I had a run in with a disrespectful teenager. The little twit (who doesn’t even attend their primary school) was riding his bicycle and deliberately running some kids over. When I tried to stop him, he went on telling me about my anatomy and also my mothers anatomy and *insert all profanity you can think of here* (because he said them all). That and he tried to run me over. Luckily I was armed with a school bag and just about missed hitting him from his bicycle. I’m going to have to work on my swing for future reference (no way I’m missing a shot again). To say I was mad, is a gross understatement. I was prepared to push that little shit right back up to where he originally came from. By now I’m guessing you know just how mad. The hubster (sitting in the car) noticed the ruckus and that boy can thank his lucky stars he was on his bicycle and we had the girls with us because Team Jonkersville would have… Well I don’t know how it would have panned out but I wanted to hit him real bad. The same way I want to hit all the wanna-be and actual gangsters who terrorize our communities every day. It’s also the way I want to break jaws of every abuser of this world. In case you’re interested in knowing what I’d do to a rapist… I would put my hand in his mouth and rip his heart out. That is how strongly I feel about those who prey on the innocent and get away with murder. Because let’s face it, in SA it’s clear that anything goes.

Another parent saw the commotion and he had the audacity to say that ‘my-almost-victim’ (my words) has been doing it for a while and just yesterday he… At that point I stopped listening because I don’t care what the boy did yesterday, I care about why he (other parent) did nothing to stop him!

That man and every other person who looks the other way are to blame for things getting out of hand. Criminals and juvenile delinquents have this idea that because no one says or does anything they can go on doing what they’re doing. Whatever happened to “it takes a village to raise a kid”?

I’ll tell you what happened…

– We’re too busy gossiping about each other and our kids.
– We delight ourselves when we see people falter and fail.
– We’re too busy comparing ourselves with the Joneses.
– And the Joneses walk with their noses so far up in the air that they don’t realise that they actually live in the same community as the rest so they’re actually not that *kwaai.
– We’re too busy judging each other and being self righteous asses.
– We look the other way and live in denial when we notice our kids doing wrong.
– We make excuses for just about anything.
– We allow bad things to happen because we don’t nip it in the bud.

I understand that people are too afraid to take a stand and agree with it to a certain extent. There’s no way I would expect anyone to take on an armed robber or even an abuser upon witnessing a crime. A friend’s cousin was murdered a few years ago because he tried to stop a guy from beating his girlfriend to death. The irony is that he saved that woman’s life that night and sacrificed his own while that woman didn’t want to testify as a witness in court. Her abusive boyfriend (bless his soul, because I would certainly have killed him) got off scott free. So yes, we can’t always take matters into our own hands and risk our lives but we can’t look the other way either.

I don’t read ‘Die Son’ because I’ve learnt that their love for sensation is not something I care for and they don’t always get people’s names right. I’m kind of pedantic about that. They covered a friend of mine’s death a few years ago and all the papers including ‘Die Burger’ and ‘Argus’ got his name right but they didn’t and the article wasn’t very truthful. Point is, I do note the photos of crying faces of family members of victims regularly. What struck me the most a while back was a hearing about a mother who said that her son was a ‘gentlemens gangster’ in an interview. Can someone please tell me the difference because I have no idea what that is? Like I said, I don’t read ‘Die Son’.

Fact is it all starts with parents in the home. Parents your kids are out of control. If you don’t make a plan with your kids and they CAN and WILL be hazards to society. At the rate things are going I don’t believe that the children are the future anymore. Do you ever stop to think of people like me who have just had about enough of your brood? I’m just an average woman who refuses to be a victim. What if I should snap? Have you seen what women are capable of on CI? Do you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe everyone has a maniac in their families who will take vengeance for crimes? What if everyone and their mother starts taking action? That spells disaster and vigilantes. It is however something that can be avoided if you just do your job as a parent. Take your heads out of the damn sand because while you turn the other way and refuse to acknowledge the facts, your kids are a menace to society. Ignoring the problems won’t make it go away.

It always gets to me that the parents who refuse to hear anything about their children are the ones who cry the most when something bad happens. Then there are the parents of toddlers who allow those kids to roam the streets without supervision. They don’t give a crap until the child goes missing, is found dead or is run over by a car. Only then they claim to be the most loving parents in the world. What a bunch of hypocrites.

Loving your kids and choosing to be blind about their faults is not love. Covering up for your hooligans is not love either. Being petty and angry at the world, for what you may think of as picking, on your kids is just stupid. **Waar daar ‘n rokie trek, ry daar ‘n Ford… Oops, what I meant to say, brand ‘n vuurtjie. Prevention is better than cure is not just relevant little saying in condom ads for pregnancy and HIV. It covers a multitude of issues.

PS: If this gets you mad, then I know I’ve done at least one thing right today.

All comment is welcome, except if you want to tell me about my anatomy in which case don’t bother because I’m not all that sensitive about words (“Sticks and stones”… and all).

* Cool
** Loose translation of the idiom: If it walks like a duck…