Tandem Post: Coffee?

It started out with coffee…

Coffee is much more than a dark liquid best enjoyed whilst hot. Whether you prefer it strong and black, with or without sugar or cream or even not at all, when you’re invited for coffee it’s hardly ever as cut and dried as that. When you’re asked “Coffee?” there is usually a reason behind it.

In the movies, when someone invites you for coffee after a date it’s usually a proposition. When someone of the opposite sex invites you for coffee (in real life) it sometimes means that the person is interested in you and it could be the beginning of a new romance. When your friend invites you for coffee, you know it’s going to end up in a long chat that’s probably overdue. It may just turn into lunch or supper because you know that it may just be a while before you find the time to fit each other in to your busy lives. Sometimes it acts as an olive branch too. Finding it difficult to talk to someone or bridge a gap? It’s amazing what an invitation to coffee will do.

Whatever the reasons behind “Coffee” is, I always get excited for a few reasons.

1) I lalalala LOVE coffee

2) Coffee has become a common denominator in life.

3)Some of my greatest friendships started off with a cup.

4) Catching up with my friends and family is always a treat and coffee is the obvious excuse.

Coffee doesn’t always taste as great as it smells but let’s face it, it is the best damn excuse to break the ice and speak to someone.

So, coffee? Anyone?

*This was part of a weekly tandem blog series between Chevone from Chevs Life, Shelley from The Deal Is and I. Go on and click their links to see what they’ve got to offer this week by clicking their links. Who knows… They may just invite you for coffee too 😉

Thank you for reading ☺

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Dear Mitchum: Thank you for the memories

You know that moment you hear a song or smell a certain scent and it triggers some kind of memory? When it makes you literally forget what you’re thinking and feeling at that moment while you relive that memory.

For me, there are a few songs that take me to moments in my life as far back as when I was 5 years old. When my dad still had an abundance of hair and a beard.

“Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon
You come and go
You come and go
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green”

The other is dancing with my mom to the beat of Eurythmics “There must be an angel”. I love that song and it always brings back fond memories of our old house.

“I walk into an empty room
And suddenly my heart goes “boom”!
It’s an orchestra of angels
And they’re playing with my heart.”

My mother-in-law passed away last week and currently I am purely existing and not living. There is no way I can explain what I am going through. For the past week Keith and I have been hurt, offended, walked over, disrespected and so much more. So much so, that grief has taken a back seat to fending off attacks. That hurt has me wondering the importance of my presence in her life when she lived. My common sense tells me to not be phased by any of this. I sit and wonder where all these supposed bff’s and close family were when she was alive. But I am only human and I am deeply hurt and so sick of hearing “What she would (or would not) have wanted”. This is NOT about me but I think I was close enough to her (and knew her well enough) to know that she would not have liked, nor tolerated, her kids being subjected to this kind of behaviour from anyone.

This morning however, when I applied some Mitchum (for a change), I took a whiff and was transported to a happier time in my life. I was walking down Hope Street in Town with my girls. It’s where we usually parked when we took 1st K for his tutoring sessions on Saturdays. We’d walk from there to the Parade before going for breakfast. (It’s best to hit the parade early to get your hands on the good stuff.) Then, after feeding our faces, we’d make our way to other little stores where I always found a bargain. My Jasper Conran boots were bought (at a steal) on one of those expeditions. Then we’d brave our way to the Company Gardens and run away from the squirrels. I. Cannot. Handle. Squirrels. Neither can Little K. I would happily take off my shoes and sit on the grass (far away from the squirrels obviously) and people watch. Trying to see our city through the eyes of the foreigners. I’d gaze at the mountain and the old buildings and wonder, like I always do, what the city was like fifty or even a hundred years ago. How many people had wandered the streets of Town? What legacies have they left behind to their loved ones?

For a while today I was in a happy place. I know that my underarms will start crumbling in a little while and I’ll be too embarrassed to raise my arms because of it. But thanks Mitchum. Thank you for taking me away for a while, and making me feel. Thank you for the memories 🙂

Tandem Post: Smackdown

I read a quote once that said:

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO ATTEND EVERY FIGHT/ARGUMENT THAT YOU’RE INVITED TO”

The thing with quotes is that it makes perfect sense and in most cases rings so true but when faced with a situation, impulse often overrides logic. Well, at least in my case.

Last night I had a dream… Not the Martin Luther King kind. I’m ways away from there. Also not the rainbows, butterflies and fair wings variety either. I save those for daydreaming. You know, those moments you see all the ugly in the world and you just want to block it all out. Or those moments when you stand in a long queue with one item but you can’t exactly leave the store without because you really need it.

Anyhoo, in my dream, I had a smackdown with someone I haven’t been seeing eye to eye with for a while now. It was like all those ninja/warrior games rolled into one. I tell you, I haven’t been this charged in a long time and it had me waking up with a smile on my face. Why a smile, you ask? I won obviously. Just like I win all the one-woman arguments I have with people in the shower. Yeah, while the rest of the population have impromptu concerts in the shower, I fight. I destroyed this woman and it felt good, but what would a fight be if she didn’t get in some good punches too. It’s a give and take after all. Don’t worry I’ll live 😀 The downside to waking from my dream was the knowledge that things were not sorted. The elephant remains in the room.

Having this dream made me realise how bothered I really am by the situation. It really isn’t of any consequence and I almost never see this woman either, but the fact that she’s a bit of a loose end bothers me. Sure I know that not everyone we meet in our lives are meant to like us. I honestly do get that. I suppose it’s just a matter of being judged by someone who doesn’t know me. Another quote comes to mind… “Other peoples opinions are their business, not yours”. Yet sometimes they manage to creep their way into your subconscious and it bothers you a bit. You being me, to be exact.

After coffee I had some more realisations. Even though I’m not completely satisfied with the matter, it really is resolved already. Gran always says that silence is an answer too. Damn old people and their wisdom sometimes but combined with dreams, coffee and some life experience, it makes a lot of sense. Sure there has been many occasions where I could have lashed out and started an argument with her (or other people over other things) but whenever I’m tempted to do so I hear gran’s voice on replay. Some fights are really just not worth it.

Lastly, I realised that I wouldn’t want to be in any fight with this woman or anyone else. Verbal or physical. Besides, what would I be teaching K3 if I do? I would like to however be able to kick the living daylights out of someone in self defence. This is the part where you all touch wood with me for my safety.

So what if I don’t win at every argument? So what if I don’t ever get an apology for someone doing me wrong? So what if others have bad opinions of me?

Smackdowns? No thank you.

I am, and will continue to be unapologetically me!

This was part of our weekly tandem blog where, this week, it’s 2 bloggers and 1 title. Go check out what Shelley has to say.

The other day I Googled…

Do you remember that one time, before auto correct and Google there were such things as dictionaries? I remember as child I would look up words I’d read if I didn’t understand the meaning of it. It’s something I still do these days. Unlike my younger counterpart who made use of dictionaries, I now turn to Google for this.

I teach my kids to do this too. Although I don’t always send them to Google. Can’t exactly guarantee that they won’t get lost on the search engine. It happens to me all the time and I end up reading articles that has nothing to do with what I initially searched for so imagine any kid on the worldwide web.

You’d think that I’d know how to spell a simple word like “enough”, and I do, but got it wrong a while ago and spelt it “i-n-u-f-f”. For the life of me I couldn’t get to the correct spelling. Nope, I’m not into all the tricky online abbreviations to have my mind muddled by it. I’ll stick to “LOL”, if that’s ok. Besides spelling and getting my Google medical degree (that I have subsequently relinquished), there are so many other things you can search for too.

For practical reasons, namely BIS and the fact that I can’t deal with touch screens, I am one of those old school Blackberry users. Just last night I started commenting on another blog and accidentally touched the “post” button and my fingers made a fool of me, so touch screens really is my ultimate nightmare. Then I’ve got another phone for making calls with a contract sim card that serves as an “In case of an emergency” phone. The other day I forgot my “calling” phone at home and had no airtime on the Blackberry which meant I had no way of calling Keith. He’s not really into Whatsapp and is quicker to respond to a “Please call me” from a random unknown number than to check his Whatsapp messages. What’s the haps with that? Anyway, after him not responding to my Whatsapp, I wanted to send him a “Please call me” and realised I have absolutely no idea how to send him one. Like, no cooking clue. For a while I felt like an idiot until I realised that I can Google it. So I did.

Just my luck he didn’t respond to that either. His phone was off and on charge. At least I know how to send a “please call me” now but I’d much rather remember to have my phone on hand. At least I now know how to send a “Please call me”.

For those of you who don’t know, here’s how:

Vodacom:

Dial *140*(recipient’s cellphone number)# and “call”.

MTN:

Dial *121*(recipient’s cellphone number)# and “call”.

Cell C:

Dial *111* (recipient’s cellphone number)# and “call”.

Telkom Mobile (8ta):

Dial *140* (recipient’s cellphone number)# and “call”.

*An SMS (no matter which network) will be sent to the person, with your number and the words: “Please Call Me”.

You can personalize it as well, but one lesson at a time here people 😉

Oh and then I ended up reading AccessTech’s Useful USSD codes for South African Mobile networks. The site gives you short codes for accessing services from balance enquiries to airtime transfers and checking your own number. How cool is that? I know quite a few people who don’t know their own numbers but hey, it’s not like they call themselves. I’m still catching up on other articles on that site so I’ve bookmarked it. See what I mean about going getting lost in my search engine…

What have you Googled lately?

Tandem Post: Pick Me, Pick, Me!

Your caress makes me gasp,
Leaving me breathless.
My body shivers and my toes curl.

You know what gives me pleasure and what causes me pain.
A more intuitive lover I’ve never had.

Your love… Can I call it that?
Your love makes me want to be a better me.
To be the person I’m meant to be.

Your embrace leaves me longing…
Longing for the life I had and the life I planned
A hope for the future.
Did you mean what you said when you promised forever?

You’re devotion to me is unbelievable.
Never do you leave my side no matter how many times I send you packing.

They say love is blind and I’d have to agree.
You’ve made me believe.
You don’t care about age, race, financial situations, hair colour, height, weight and you’re not prejudiced.
Free love for all, especially me.

“Pick me, pick me!” You said.
No need for whispering sweet nothings.
I guess I had you at “Hello”.

How do I love thee, let me count the ways…

Actually, I’m not that into you. At. All.
Did you ever consider that I wasn’t playing hard to get?
You’re the jealous lover my mom warned me about.

If you can’t have me then no one can? Huh! We’ll see about that.

You selfish bastard, Cancer. You!

* OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

PS: This post was not written from personal experience at the hand of cancer. It is my observations of the illness and the effects it has on sufferers. This includes loved ones whom I’ve lost, friends and strangers in their fight against the all consuming illness.

This was part of a tandem series where 3 bloggers and 1 title collide. For Chevonne’s story click here and Shelley’s story click here

FEATURED BLOG: SURVIVING THE MADNESS

It’s feature blog time so and this time around my feature blogger for the month is Zayaan from Surviving The Madness.

A few months ago, when we were all at our wits end trying to figure out the load shedding schedules and zones,  along came Zayaan and introduced us to the Gridwatch App. Her post was the first word I heard about the app and I read bit way before other social media broadcasts. It may be like a day or so but you know social media and news cast. A day amounts to a year in the virtual realm.

Then she baked and shared Jamie Olivers Double Chocolate Cookies recipe which made me realize that I can actually do it myself. I must say that it was the least intimidating Jamie recipe I’ve ever seen. Finally I didn’t have to Google a single ingredient. The recipe has been saved and I’ll be trying it out when the baking bug bites again.

What I really admire about her is how she’s doing her bit by contributing to a greener world. She happens to be one of the few moms I know of who’s started using Cloth Nappies. I kind of wish I knew of this 6 years ago. Then again I doubt I’d be that brave. Besides, we were in the fortunate position to not have to buy disposable diapers as Keith’s company supplied right up until Little K’s 3rd birthday.

I’ve also been checking out her Games category and imagine how uber cool I look when I can talk games (kind of… almost…maybe) with my teenage son and his buddies.

These are but some of her posts that I can relate to but I promise you there are plenty more. Go check out her site for yourself to see just what she’s up to.

But wait, there’s more. Watch this space next week for an interview with this blogger…

See you soon 🙂

Tandem Post: Fairytale

Dear Girls

In your lifetime you’ll hear the “Story of us” more times than you care for and everytime you do, there’ll be two different versions between your dad and I. The more we tell it, the more I wonder if maybe I’ve been getting things slightly twisted along the years and maybe dad’s version is the right one. Then again my memory is much better than his and you’re reading it here too so it must be true.

“Once upon a time in the most beautiful city in the world, Cape Town,an 11yo girl met a 13yo boy and they became friends. They had so much fun together with their group of friends and spent most of their waking moments together.

One day, when they were older, the boy and girl realised that they love each other very much. It was not the same love as they had for their friends but a different, special kind of love. Between the 2 of them you’ll often hear them argue who fell in love first. I still think he fell for her first.

Anyhoo two decades later…

They are blessed with these amazing kids ;)and have a good life. They live, love, learn, play and pray together.  Life may not always be easy or perfect but with their love and friendship they overcome many obstacles that comes their way.

*****The Beginning****”

What I’m really trying to say is that you ought a believe in my version of events. In all seriousness though, life with your dad is better than any fairytale ever written. He’s my knight in shining armour all the time and loves me for who I am, even if I’m not one of the greatest people alive at times. He’s my best friend and also the kindest, most patient, uncomplicated person I know. The type of person I’d like to be when I’m big. He inspires me. Life without him would be no life at all.

Soon you’ll be all grown and you’ll have your own knights. Don’t aspire to Cinderella, Snow White or some Disney type of story. Don’t be too ready to buy into the lies of the world. Nothing is perfect yet  when you meet “The One” it will be a perfect match because it will be the one you prayed for. God does not make mistakes. Lastly (for now), I hope and pray that you find the kind of love your dad and I share or better.

PS: A family that prays together stays together.
PPS: Dad and I will tell you our story together. It something worth listening to “in real life”

Love, 
MOM

Dear readers, thank you for reading this week’s tandem post. Please hop on over to my writers-in-crime to see their Fairytales:
Chevs Life
The_Deal_Is

The Non Negotiable Rules Of Parenting

This is too good not to share. I’m not judging any parent out there, but guys we really NEED to remember that it’s OUR KIDS and OUR RESPONSIBILITY. PERIOD. This is a cruel world we live in and our little ones depend on us to keep them safe. Accidents happen so quickly but like I always tell K3 “Most accidents can be avoided if we practice caution”. Saying sorry has become too easy in some situations. What if one day sorry doesn’t cut it? Don’t be sorry be careful.

3 Kids, 2 Dogs, 1 Old House

So you’ve had a baby.

I’m sure you have many ideas about how you want to raise this squishy little thing and how well you’re going to parent them.  Maybe you’ve even been in the trenches long enough to know that your children have totally different ideas on how you are going to parent them, so you change it up a little.

But no matter if you choose to breast feed or bottle feed, co-sleep or cry it out as well as all of the other trivial matters that parenting involves – you are the person that needs to be there for your little bundle of goodness.

As the parent you have a set of rules that you need to stick to.  Unlike the ones that I mentioned above, these ones are not negotiable.  Not even a little bit.

Here are the non-negotiable rules that you need to commit…

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Apprentice God

Beautiful Life with Cancer

Myself-serving, instant gratification, arrogant, self-righteous humanity demands explanations. What? When? Where? And Why? If I don’t understand it and put in my vote, ain’t gonna happen.

I have been well taught by the culture that surrounds me and when there is a God that I can not understand, uhhh….not really my thing.

What do I not understand? I do not understand that babies die. I do not understand that someone would devote their life to missionary work, pray over a dying father and God allows them to die. I do not understand that mothers get cancer, I personally do not understand that. I do not understand that children see their mothers raped. I do not understand…A LOT!

And then God asks me to accept? He asks me to trust? He asks me to follow? He asks me to worship him?! I DO NOT LIKE THAT!

And that is the very…

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A Simple Hello

HELLO readers

A five letter word that can hold so much promise and open many doors. It is also a word that’s universally understood no matter what language you speak. Yet I find that a simple HELLO is the most difficult word to say at times. It really does escape me and I won’t delve in and seek answers. At least not today. What I will do is encourage you to read this post I’ve reblogged (not because I’m being a lazy blogger this morning, I actually have lots to say as always).

A simple HELLO or even a smile can make someones day and cheer them up. You never know what the next person is going through.

As a lover of random acts of kindness, I encourage you to use your HELLO’s as randaom acts of kindness today.

I hope you enjoy this piece as much as I did.

Storyshucker

The evening commute home was a scramble as people rushed and crushed onto the train fighting for a place to sit or stand.  A last-minute couple pushed through the door dropping tourist maps in their haste. Forced by the crowd to split up, the man went one way and the woman another.

The woman sat down in the last vacant seat next to where I stood and began to refold maps. Beside her sat a well-dressed business woman who appeared to read something work-related even after a day at the office. The two glanced briefly at each other, said nothing, and went back to their tasks of reading and map folding.

Things calmed as the train doors shut and people settled into seats or places to stand. As we waited for the train to depart, only the rustling of newspapers or the occasional ring of a cell phone could be heard…

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