Am I Wrong

Today I received a call from an unknown number. A call that may seal my fate for the next few months. A fate that I have been dead set against, since I heard about the opportunity, and that I’m still not sure about.

The call was from a previous manager of mine. A manager who works at the same company that retrenched me last year. There are a few temp vacancies in her department and she called to invite me for an interview. Roughly two months ago a former colleague (a few of them actually) of mine told me about the upcoming positions and truthfully I was as interested in working there then as I am today. Which happens to be less than zero.

You guys, I don’t want to go work there. Like, really not. Don’t get me wrong. I need work and I do need the cash but I just don’t want to go back there. I haven’t burnt any bridges nor have I any hang ups because of the retrenchment but that’s not my life anymore. It’s actually just not the type of company I want to work for anymore either. Firstly, the location sucks and I’ll have to spend plenty of time commuting. Secondly, I’ll have to leave home at 05:40 and get home after 6pm again. Lastly, I’ll have to be forced to work with people who I don’t care for. Sure every work place has got its politics and some plain nasty employees but I can live without that. During my time there I endured it. Ok, maybe more than endured it. I’m a flexible person and generally get on well with anyone.

The downside to being the neutral person is that there never really is a sense of belonging. Other people’s attitudes wear you down no matter how much you try to ignore it. If there’s one thing I can’t deal with, it’s got to be people who moan about any and everything. At my volunteer job I’m blessed to be surrounded with the most amazing group of women with zest for life. When I walk into the office every morning, I can feel the energy. We work in harmony and our personalities compliment each other. Can you blame me for wanting that in the real world too?

Problem is that beggars can’t exactly be choosers. I’ve been praying, asking God
to open doors for me. I’ve been hoping for a new beginning. What if that is my next step? My new beginning. What if that’s the door God is opening for me once more?

I’m trying to be enthusiastic about it. I’m trying to be thankful. At the same time I’m asking why. It sure does feel like I’m the butt of some sick joke right about now. So many questions and negative emotions.

Forgive me if I curl in a ball and cry my weekend away…

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