For the past few days I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. It’s safe to say that I’m back to being me. Can I let you in on a secret? But you have to promise to share it with at least one person. Lean in a bit… Closer… Now listen carefully… It’s called lots and lots of comfort eating which includes eating a certain chocolate spread straight from the jar. I bet the kids won’t be too impressed. I also bet they’ll each try and put the blame on each other. Right now I don’t quite care.
Also it has a lot to do with making a firm decision (for now) to get a grip! One day at a time. Honestly I need to be quite hard on myself sometimes. This usually happens in front of the mirror. Eye contact is very important so I can know just how serious it is. No easy task believe me but a very necessary one.
Okay so allowed myself some crying time and gosh I didn’t know I had it in me. Since I like to plan things and I’m every bit of a timekeeping kinda person, I kind of set limits to that too. Admittedly I’ve allowed for today to be one of those days too since my hormones decided to join the party. Actually I must say that I’m not really a crier. Except for when my kids get awards for their achievements (which happens often-I have some awesome kids :D), when something falls on my foot (that’s the worst kind of pain), a tv drama or romcom, when my kids choose to not listen to me or when I notice we’re out of bread and there’s no one to go to the shop to buy any. I loathe going to the shop and it’s genuinely not far from home (literally less than a minutes walk). Next time I’ll count the steps it takes to get there and back. Wait! All that doesn’t make me a crier does it??? No? Didn’t think so 😀
So an update on the interview… I don’t quite know how it went. I was physically present, answered all their questions, smiled on cue and did a little test on Excel and some basic payroll finance. Other than that I was completely zoned out. No nervousness or anything. I suppose I may have came across as nervous which may count in my favour because everyone knows how intimidating interviews can be. I left their offices with another promise of “we’ll let you know”. “Yeah, yeah” my mind replied. Followed by a mental roll of the eyes. Cynical much?
But that was yesterday, so please forgive that soppy post. But hey a problem shared is a problem halved. Sharing that post made me feel so much better so it’s sort of a #SorryNotSorry moment. I promise to behave next time *note to self*. Instead of tears, today I chose happy and pursued it. Chased the black dog too mind you. Being depressed really does sap you of energy in the worst way and I don’t like feeling knackered. I can’t quite pull off the puffy eyes look either. I still didn’t do my hair but had a jolly good time making fake nails with red cheese rind. Check out the tut on todays tandem post if you haven’t read it yet. I can say there was plenty of smiles and normalcy around Jonkersville. Except that I made a pot of soup. Yeah… That’s not normal. I can’t make soup. Hopefully it’s going to rain because we’re in need of plenty of rain. Nonetheless mommy’s got her ducks in a row. Yayzies!
- Depression is not an illness to be taken lightly.
If you or a loved one experience bouts of negativity or “the blues” it’s best to seek professional help.
A problem shared is a problem halved. The best part of talking to a professional is that you get to talk without someone interrupting you to get their two cents in and you don’t have to worry about them telling the whole world and his brother. The not so cool part is having to pay them for their time and silence but it’s all so worth it.
Depression can in some cases be genetic link which means that your genes may be partially responsible for it. It’s in my gene pool. (In case some of you may have wondered, it is for this reason why I’ve gone to see a psychiatrist and still see psychologists on occasion. My health, both physical and mental, is important to me.)
It really is nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of what people may say. I cannot emphasize this enough!!! #BreaktheStigma People
* For more information on Depression and other mental health issues, feel free to pop on over to SADAG.
The helpline number is 0800 12 13 14
Suicide emergency number: 0800 567 567
Alternately you can sms them on 31393 and they will call you back.