For the past few weeks I’ve been having some serious commitment issues with sleep. As if sleeping in itself isn’t enough of a commitment issue where death is concerned. Anyway… The moment I get into bed all kinds of ideas pops into my mind. My Declaration Of Independence has been the reason for my sleep deprivation. Or at least that’s what I thought. As much as I try to switch off the more insistent those thoughts and ideas become.
This prompts me to get up, make notes and worse still start the planning. I bubble with excitement at times (most of the time) and other times it’s a matter of making the note before the idea escapes me, never to be thought of again. By the end of the week when most 9-5’ers get ready for the weekend, it’s business as usual for me. Work, work, work. Ta-da-da-da-da, I’m loving it!
The problem with little sleep and staying up all day after rising at 5am only to toss and turn again during the night is that I’m now like a walking pharmacy and popping pills like it’s going out of fashion. My head aches. All. The. Time. Also, too little sleep makes me cranky. Ok maybe not cranky. Miserable is more accurate.
A GP visit later, and not my usual GP but one of his locums (who happens to be an expert in occupational health), and a whole lot of questions (way more than the usual 20 questions type) I’m told that I have a mild case of OCD. OCD!!!
Here I’m thinking that it’s all the excitement of my new ventures and my busy lifestyle, but having researched OCD and looking at the Symptoms I’m seriously wondering if I’m really that obsessive. A control freak yes but obsessive? Sadly I can identify with most of the symptoms and while I’m in denial about it I’ve have decided to budge where the prescribed meds are concerned because I need sleep. Uninterrupted sleep and be my normal self.
Having had a few decent nights sleep I feel refreshed. I have however been researching OCD a lot and find myself reading article upon article and have gone for a second opinion as well. Same diagnosis.
So there you have it people. ‘Denial Jonkers’ is who I am right now and have become OC about OCD. If that’s even possible. Is it even a thing? Emptying my inbox at 2am because there’ll be new mails in the morning doesn’t count either right?