Today when I picked Little K up from school, one of the other moms asked if I’d heard about the first grader who attended the girls school that passed on last Thursday. My mother heart nearly collapsed because the mere thought of losing one or all of my kids at any given time is too much to bear. This child was a mere few months older than Little K and here the one moment, gone the next. Those poor poor parents and family mourning right now. I can’t even imagine what must be going through their minds right now or how they must be feeling.
I don’t have all the details but according to their neighbour, a sliding gate fell on him and he died instantly. What I do know for sure is that I can honestly thank God that I wasn’t there when said neighbour relayed the story. Apparently it was a heavy gate and it took about 7 grown men to lift it off the boys body. He went into detail about the scene and what the little one looked like. That was one of the reasons I’m glad I didn’t hear it from his mouth because I’m of the fainted hearted and also a writer who paints pictures with words so you can imagine how the scene would have played out in my mind. But it was not those details that made me thankful for not hearing him speak.
It was the statement he made that appalled me. Little K’s teacher stood with her mouth gaping because she could not believe that a grown man and a father at that would actually utter such nonsense. His statement was along these lines “But he was a naughty boy…”. Friends as I’m typing this the rage is bubbling again and the tears are threatening to spill. I was absolutely livid this afternoon.
Not too long ago I was one of those people who’d proudly say “I’m responsible for what I say and you’re responsible for the way in which you interpret it.” Obviously it depended on the context of a conversation but I kinda meant it on many if not all levels. That said, I’ve always known how important it is to guard my tongue. You can always think what you want but you can’t always say what you want and there are some things that cannot be left open for interpretation.
I’m angry, because in my mind the mere fact that he uttered those words means that he’s an opinionated, ignorant and heartless beast who should be slapped. A. Lot. And his lips should be sealed with super glue. How is it OK for anyone to utter a statement like that when a young child lost his life? It’s cruel! I don’t care if he was naughty or nice and what the circumstances were. He’s gone. A mother lost a child. Siblings lost their brother. It could have been his child and I’m sure that he would not have taken kindly to someone saying that about his kid regardless if the kid is some angel or brat. Honestly, I don’t care if that neighbour didn’t mean to say those exact words or if he meant something different to the way in which we interpreted it.
You guys, this made me think about how we are quick to say things without even thinking at times. How we can break each other down by a simple word. Or not choosing our words carefully and leaving it open to interpretation. Even if the people we’re talking about, or to, is alive and kicking. Words have the power to hurt and cause serious damage.
Eulogies often have me amused. Either the words spoken is accurate and the honor is due or I sit there thinking “Liar, liar pants on fire. He/she was nothing like that”. I’ve never heard a ‘bad’ eulogy at any funeral whether the person was good or bad.
We also received news of the passing of one of the hubsters acquaintances today and his first words when I told him about it was “No man, I just saw him a few days ago.” Right now my heart is bleeding for that mans wife and kids too.
As those families are grieving, I have no words of comfort to offer them. I’m sure they have many questions right now but I know that God is with them. Only time will soothe their pain and suffering. Although I haven’t experienced that kind of loss yet, it is my understanding that you never get over the passing of a loved one but you learn to deal with it as time goes by. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” I’ll cling to that promise found in Matt 5:4.
I do have words for everyone reading this, myself too as I’m typing this:
Live each day like it’s your last; If you’ve been granted grace in the morning to rise then there’s nothing stopping you from shining.
Think before you/I speak; I’m a think on my feet type of person that often leads it to spilling from my mouth. So my prayer is for God to put a tight reign on my tongue. Whole day, everyday.
Treasure the time you have with your loved ones, friends and just everyone. You don’t know when it’s the last time you’ll see them.
Be slow to judge. When fatal accidents happen we/I tend to analyze the whole thing and draw our own conclusions and then the “If only’s” start. It’s during those moments we look to cast the blame on someone else and worse forget that it really doesn’t matter the circumstances, death is unavoidable. We will all pass soon. The question is are you ready?
Fatal accidents happen every day, old, young, innocent, guilty, good, and naughty individuals are not immune from the same fate … one I happen to think that no one deserves before their time. Part of following Jesus is to comfort the mourning. My friend tells me that when we share our joys we multiply them and when we share our sadness we divide them. You can be sure that the child’s parents are blaming themselves … few tragedies are tougher on a marriage than the loss of a young child. They need to know that it wasn’t their fault, that none of them deserved this, and that their grief will take a long time but they can get through this.
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“when we share our joys we multiply them and when we share our sadness we divide them.” I like that phrase and yes you are so right about comforting the mourning. Something I’ve always been too afraid to do in fear of saying the wrong thing. Must definitely work on that.
Thank you for stopping by Jamie.
Oh how absolutely sad. I am absolutely horrified by what that neighbour said – it really is heartless.
Lovely sage advice- I hope that you have a great day!
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A brand new day with brand new promises. Who am I not to cease it? 😉
Have a super duper day 🙂
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