Tandem post: Page 51

This week’s tandem challenge was to go to Page 51 of a random book, and start our piece with the last line or sentence of the page. The book in question is PLAYBOYSKOOL, How to Pull and get Laid, by Nick Star. Never read the book but, thank you Nick Star, what a challenge! Last sentence on the page is “Let’s roll…”

“Let’s roll…” Are the only words I hear before my ears shut and my eyes reads your lips. “Blah, blah, blah, blah… Bleh!” Is all I read. Like really now, I could type a manuscript using the word ‘Blah’ and still be able to capture more of an audience. I’m sure they’ll get me too.

Yes Judgy McJudgerson! I’m not listening to you and I really don’t care to know how you check the amount of calories, GL/I’s and who knows what on food packaging. Not everyone does it and is so consumed with wanting to be perfect. Sweets is where I draw the line unless you’re diabetic or have a peanut allergy. It doesn’t interest me how often you go to gym and what protein shakes your doctor has ordered you to drink.

You know what I don’t care for either? How you look at people and assume that you’re more righteous than the rest of us. That your heart is purer than ours. You go and serve at soup kitchens and do things for people to see. How you look at others who you think is beneath you. That just riles me up. Have you forgotten where you come from? I haven’t and I could interrupt you now and remind you. No. Wait. This train of thought has to make it all the way to Rant Town before I’ll do such a thing. Your judgement comes freely and you don’t hide it.

Do you know the heart of the drunk smelly guy who walks down the road everyday? No? Well it really doesn’t surprise me because you probably didn’t see him either. He has a name too you know. He actually is the funniest person and has a story, a very interesting one at that. We all do. He has kids and grankids too. But you don’t know that. You’re self made pedestal is too high. How do you up there every morning anyways?

Did you know that when we die our graves are the same size? Unless you wanna upsize (like at Mac D’s) for your whole family. So why do you think you’re better than us? Didn’t you ever hear the saying “Mens is nooit te sleg om goed te raak nie”? What about showing people love? Is your light and love just reserved for those in your circle whom you think are walking with you in your faith. Have you ever wondered about their hearts or is the rest of ours just too disturbing and interesting for you to bother? Do you ever sit down to think that maybe, just maybe you’re the reason why so many fail to see the light or choose not to in fear of becoming just like you?

Do you know that woman with the temper has been hurt so many times in her life and she is on constant alert and defense? She has no confidence and doesn’t know love. Nevermind unconditional love. She yearns to be loved and appreciated by people. Her heart aches because she often feels like she doesn’t belong. Wait, what? You didn’t notice? Can it be because you’re too busy making the world notice how good of a samaritan you are. Can it be that she scared you off too? Did she do it while you looked her in the eye, smiled and greeted her or when you drove past with a pout and refusing to even glance her way?

I notice you’ve stopped talking and looking at me expectantly… Yikes I’ve been caught! I’m supposed to say something right about now.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that. Would you mind repeating what you just said so I can know exactly what and how you want to roll” I say but I don’t tell you of where I’ve just rolled to because surely you won’t get it.

Thank goodness we’re folding samoosas but if you prefer saying “roll”, I’m good with that too.

Friends it’s well after the stipulated time and I’ve been doing the Should I, Shouldn’t I since this morning. This is a bit personal and at the risk of making seem like I’m casting stones here, I felt the need to just “Should I”. Please note that it’s not directed at anyone in specific and I’ve never folded samoosas with anyone besides my gran. This is not about gran! There are many believers in this world who turn their backs on each other and on the needy. This is not the way it’s supposed to be. If you’ve taken that leap of faith, you need to constantly look at the man/woman in the mirror and remember that we are supposed to set examples.

Now go see how amazing my Tandem team is:
ChevsLife
The_Deal_Is

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