I was thinking of fancy words and nice quips to start my blog today. I even wanted to add a bit of humour because quite frankly we could all do with a bit more laughing in our lives. Fact is I’m so disgruntled and can’t find the right words. Lacing the truth can only be done so many times. And there is no humour that can soften the blow. As a writer I find myself at a loss for words today but my autopilot is still in good form and she has got a few things to tell parents and the whole community.
While collecting my daughters from school today I had a run in with a disrespectful teenager. The little twit (who doesn’t even attend their primary school) was riding his bicycle and deliberately running some kids over. When I tried to stop him, he went on telling me about my anatomy and also my mothers anatomy and *insert all profanity you can think of here* (because he said them all). That and he tried to run me over. Luckily I was armed with a school bag and just about missed hitting him from his bicycle. I’m going to have to work on my swing for future reference (no way I’m missing a shot again). To say I was mad, is a gross understatement. I was prepared to push that little shit right back up to where he originally came from. By now I’m guessing you know just how mad. The hubster (sitting in the car) noticed the ruckus and that boy can thank his lucky stars he was on his bicycle and we had the girls with us because Team Jonkersville would have… Well I don’t know how it would have panned out but I wanted to hit him real bad. The same way I want to hit all the wanna-be and actual gangsters who terrorize our communities every day. It’s also the way I want to break jaws of every abuser of this world. In case you’re interested in knowing what I’d do to a rapist… I would put my hand in his mouth and rip his heart out. That is how strongly I feel about those who prey on the innocent and get away with murder. Because let’s face it, in SA it’s clear that anything goes.
Another parent saw the commotion and he had the audacity to say that ‘my-almost-victim’ (my words) has been doing it for a while and just yesterday he… At that point I stopped listening because I don’t care what the boy did yesterday, I care about why he (other parent) did nothing to stop him!
That man and every other person who looks the other way are to blame for things getting out of hand. Criminals and juvenile delinquents have this idea that because no one says or does anything they can go on doing what they’re doing. Whatever happened to “it takes a village to raise a kid”?
I’ll tell you what happened…
– We’re too busy gossiping about each other and our kids.
– We delight ourselves when we see people falter and fail.
– We’re too busy comparing ourselves with the Joneses.
– And the Joneses walk with their noses so far up in the air that they don’t realise that they actually live in the same community as the rest so they’re actually not that *kwaai.
– We’re too busy judging each other and being self righteous asses.
– We look the other way and live in denial when we notice our kids doing wrong.
– We make excuses for just about anything.
– We allow bad things to happen because we don’t nip it in the bud.
I understand that people are too afraid to take a stand and agree with it to a certain extent. There’s no way I would expect anyone to take on an armed robber or even an abuser upon witnessing a crime. A friend’s cousin was murdered a few years ago because he tried to stop a guy from beating his girlfriend to death. The irony is that he saved that woman’s life that night and sacrificed his own while that woman didn’t want to testify as a witness in court. Her abusive boyfriend (bless his soul, because I would certainly have killed him) got off scott free. So yes, we can’t always take matters into our own hands and risk our lives but we can’t look the other way either.
I don’t read ‘Die Son’ because I’ve learnt that their love for sensation is not something I care for and they don’t always get people’s names right. I’m kind of pedantic about that. They covered a friend of mine’s death a few years ago and all the papers including ‘Die Burger’ and ‘Argus’ got his name right but they didn’t and the article wasn’t very truthful. Point is, I do note the photos of crying faces of family members of victims regularly. What struck me the most a while back was a hearing about a mother who said that her son was a ‘gentlemens gangster’ in an interview. Can someone please tell me the difference because I have no idea what that is? Like I said, I don’t read ‘Die Son’.
Fact is it all starts with parents in the home. Parents your kids are out of control. If you don’t make a plan with your kids and they CAN and WILL be hazards to society. At the rate things are going I don’t believe that the children are the future anymore. Do you ever stop to think of people like me who have just had about enough of your brood? I’m just an average woman who refuses to be a victim. What if I should snap? Have you seen what women are capable of on CI? Do you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe everyone has a maniac in their families who will take vengeance for crimes? What if everyone and their mother starts taking action? That spells disaster and vigilantes. It is however something that can be avoided if you just do your job as a parent. Take your heads out of the damn sand because while you turn the other way and refuse to acknowledge the facts, your kids are a menace to society. Ignoring the problems won’t make it go away.
It always gets to me that the parents who refuse to hear anything about their children are the ones who cry the most when something bad happens. Then there are the parents of toddlers who allow those kids to roam the streets without supervision. They don’t give a crap until the child goes missing, is found dead or is run over by a car. Only then they claim to be the most loving parents in the world. What a bunch of hypocrites.
Loving your kids and choosing to be blind about their faults is not love. Covering up for your hooligans is not love either. Being petty and angry at the world, for what you may think of as picking, on your kids is just stupid. **Waar daar ‘n rokie trek, ry daar ‘n Ford… Oops, what I meant to say, brand ‘n vuurtjie. Prevention is better than cure is not just relevant little saying in condom ads for pregnancy and HIV. It covers a multitude of issues.
PS: If this gets you mad, then I know I’ve done at least one thing right today.
All comment is welcome, except if you want to tell me about my anatomy in which case don’t bother because I’m not all that sensitive about words (“Sticks and stones”… and all).
* Cool
** Loose translation of the idiom: If it walks like a duck…
Surviving Jonkersville 
As a non-parent, I am often chided for having an opinion on the discipline of kids.
So let me ask a question rather than offer an opinion – if we are all always saying “it takes a village to raise a child” why are we (the village) not interested in disciplining an errant child with no manners?
I got really angry reading your piece. But although my anger was initially for the foul-mouthed little turd of a child who tried to run you off your feet, it is actually aimed at his mother and father, because they have failed. What they are raising is a bully and a thug, and in all likelihood a criminal.
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From a parent to you and all non-parents out there: Don’t take note of anyone chiding you for for having an opinion on disciplining kids. No one is born a parent and it’s only natural to direct a person (especially kids) in the right direction. Every parent has a different method of discipline but it all comes down to the same thing. To have respect for yourself and your fellow human being.
My sisters (who don’t have kids of their own yet) have been disciplining my kids on issues since I can remember. Not that I fail to do it (I’m a sergeant-major mom) but when they see them step out of line they call K3 out on it and I appreciate it. Something too many parents are touchy about. They look at it as personal attacks. That’s also the reason why the “village” has lost interest. Who wants to help a lost kid if the parent is going to cover up and chide you for doing it? Kids know this and being kids they take advantage. Classic example is my sister-by-the-law and my niece. She used to think it was personal until she realised I actually love my niece to pieces and even if having her get mad at me was the price to pay, I wouldn’t stop. I hope that answers your question.
I’ve stopped caring what the parents have to say and take it upon myself to help the kids on the right track because they don’t know any better. It’s actually funny because the ones I have words with are the ones who end up coming back for more all the time. But I suppose they know when it’s done out of love and not ‘just because’. Kids seek discipline and consistency more than we know. I was raised by the “village” and my kids are too because I’m receptive to it. As for my kids, they don’t like it much but that’s not my problem. Hahaha… They’ll appreciate it when they’re big one day. It makes me feel better knowing there are others looking out for them.
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