This weekend my baby sis got married. I’ve seen people cry at weddings before but never got it until I witnessed my little sister say “I will” (it seems as though “I do” was something people still said when I got married).
It was a proud moment and I’m not even the mother of the bride but tears threatened to flow. Thanks to the ocean breeze I was at least spared a black river runway down my cheeks. Note to all women in case you didn’t know it: The fact that mascara is waterproof does not mean that it’s tear proof. (I’ve had my fair share of blips with that.) And if you wanna shed a mascara tear, make sure you’re at the seaside or a fan.
It was a magical day and had me thinking of my own wedding day. Neither the hubster nor I can truly recount everything that happened that day. What we do remember is that moment we stood in front of many witnesses and we looked into each others eyes. Our eyes locked and in that moment no one else existed. It was just the two of us. Pure magic!
As marriage goes, it takes a lot more than love and commitment to make it work. It requires some effort (actually hard work at times), lots of compromise and it’s not something any newly wed or soon to be wed couple often realise or is prepared for. We seem to have the notion that our love for each other should and will conquer all so it couldn’t be that difficult. At least that’s what the hubster and I thought…
During our life together we have come to realise that marriage is not a bed of roses and thank goodness for that because roses are armed with thorns. Marriage to us is about walking side by side and having each other’s backs. Being partners and best friends is what we’re all about. As for the compromise part… I’m a Liverpool fan by marriage (it’s the least I can do right?). The things we do for love. *sigh* Still individuals in our own right but a force to be reckoned because of our unity.
The one piece of advice veteran couples tend to give newly weds is to not go to bed angry. I couldn’t wrap my head around that and sometimes still wonder why so many people told us that on our wedding day. Today I think that going to bed angry and having to share it with the object of your anger makes for a very bad night because you’ll lose plenty of sleep and be cranky the next day. Not to mention bags under your eyes and achy muscles. I can lie and say I’ve heard people say that, but hey white lies are such a waste so… YES, Guilty as charged! BUT working on it 😉
On Saturday someone actually told me the why’s of ‘angry sleeping’ and I completely agree. When you go to bed angry, you give the devil a gap to come in and little by little a piece of your marriage is attacked until you forget all about the”Till death do us part” vow. We all know what happens after that.
Parting shots: Your marriage is what you want it to be. Some things are not worth fighting about. Even if you’re married for an eternity, the little things always count, so never forget how you got together in the first place. Lastly, COMMUNICATE.
With all that said, I’ll have you know I’ll marry my hubster again and again. Let’s just hope he’ll have me again and again. But, I’m cool like that, so I’m betting he will 🙂
PS: Feel free to drop a comment and offer some advice of your own. We could all do with a nudge in the right directions at times. Some of us (mostly me) need more than others at times (again mostly me).
Surviving Jonkersville 
Me thinks one too many couples concentrate on the wedding day and not the marriage in these times. Marriage is hard work. If both entities are prepared to merge and build on that merger instead of trying for a hostile takeover it could be so worthwhile. A lovely, well-written piece! We said (in my day) “I do”…so we should. Many blessings to B and her husband. May their union be blessed!
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Yep #thedealis too many people go at it in a haze. I did too. But then experience and wisdom kicks in and that’s where we need to share with the newbies. Thank you for the comment 😉 and I’ll be sure to give B your message.
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