At what age did you realize you were not immortal? How did you react to that discovery?
Since I can remember my gran has been my silver lining in a dark cloud. She’s a truly wise woman who has taught me lots about what I know today. There are a few things I wish gran hadn’t enlightened me on and mortality is one of them.
Though I don’t quite remember my exact age (it was definitely before 10yo) at the time nor the conversation, I remember the twist in it with clarity. Somehow gran wanted to prepare me for when she wasn’t around anymore. I bombarded her with questions along the lines of ‘Where is she going, why would she want to leave me. Was I a bad girl. Did she not love me anymore.’ She explained death to me that day. Listening to her while she tried to make me understand that we will all leave this earth one day didn’t sit well. It had me in tears for days. I would wonder when will it be my last day for weeks on end, forget about it and then it would start all over. Why be born at all if you’re only going to die anyway, little me wondered.
The thought of death still scares me sometimes. I guess it’s not knowing the specifics of how, when and where. We were all born for a reason, though I have yet to discover my divine purpose. In the meantime I’m living life and making memories with my family and friends.
Life has treated her kind and she is still with us with all her marbles in tact. At this stage of my life, having spent 3 decades with her I wish she was finite. Can’t imagine life without her.