Grown Up Me

Growing up Barbie was my ‘little girl’ idol. I wanted the long straight hair, the even longer legs, fair complexion, petite figure and dainty feet. She wasn’t merely a doll, she was everything ‘little me’ aspired to be. I even mimicked what I thought her voice would sound like. The endless hours I spent changing her outfits and making up stories as I went along was magical. She’d be a princess then a super woman who rescued the world.

Fast forward to ‘grown up’ me and I have none of that. Well except for the dainty-ish feet, which drastically expands and can easily make me rival big foot during summer time. My body has also borne 3 children and I have the battle scars to prove it.

My obsession with experimenting with my hair and shaving it off on impulse is why I never have long hair. Then there’s my gene pool that’s made quite sure that I’d never grow taller than average height and my complexion is more caramel than peaches and cream. Last but not least is my love affair with food and my insatiable sweet tooth. By now I’m sure you’re getting that I’m no size 6.
Do I have any hang ups with my body? I sincerely wish I could say that I don’t care about my dress size but I wouldn’t be a woman if I didn’t complain about my body every once in a while. Imagine how mundane it would be if I didn’t get to see my husband squirm every time I ask him if I look fat or slender in some dress. He never gets it right by the way because I’m never satisfied with any of his answers.

I no longer aspire to have the Barbie physique but I have realized that in order for me to function and be healthy I have to take care of myself no matter my size. “When you look good you feel good.” Good genes can only take you that far before you have to start working for it and right now I’m working for it. I like to feel the burn. I’m masochistic like that, even though I have to give myself regular pep talks just to get going.

‘Grown up’ me now admires REAL women with big hearts no matter their shape or size. I’d like to think that no matter my size I’m one of those REAL deals with a big heart.

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